© 2007-2008 John Thornburg
First Day of Shooting: Luke 4 Goes Hollywood
Luke 4: 16-30
A sermon by John Thornburg for the Association of Disciple Musicians
July 27, 2003
“OK, everyone, let’s listen up. We’re about ready to get under way here. Somebody was supposed to get me some coffee, so it better be in my hand pretty soon.
“Is this the best temple we could find? Jesus Christ! How do you do product placement in a place like this? Aren’t there supposed to be columns or pillars or something? And can we lose that little red lamp up there? It’s going to look stupid in some of the close-ups.
“Where did you find these people? They look like they just got off the boat, for God’s sakes! I need more beards! Make up!!
“Where is Jesus? We’re not paying this guy scale to teach Sunday School...Well, tell him we’re ready for the ‘hometown boy returns’ scene.
“Oh, there you are. Listen, buddy, I’m none too happy with what I’m hearing about you. We’re paying you good money to star in this film, and all I hear about you is how you’re late for this or that because you’re talking religion with anyone who will listen. You know they’ve banned Hare Krishnas from the airports for doing that.
• “I’m not going to keep the money I get for this film. I’m giving it to a cause I believe in.”
“Well, isn’t it nice to be you.
“And I don’t need to remind you that I’m still mad at you for refusing to jump off the roof of the Temple. Now that would have been great film making. That would have been Keanu Reeves meets Spiderman stuff, but NOOOOOO, you needed to stick with the script. Who ever had any fun sticking to the script? Sometimes you just have to say, “I’m putting it out there. This is MY moment.”
• “The script said that would have been tempting God.”
“And I am supposed to care about that precisely why? Is God paying your salary for this film? Look, we’re moving on and we’re doing this ‘kid returns home’ scene today and that’s that.
“OK, kid, now you walk up to that front place of the temple and one of the old guys hands you the scroll..”
• “What’s my motive?”
“Let me get this straight. You think you need a motive for having an old guy hand you a scroll. OK, how about this.. he was there when you were in diapers and he’s still there now. He knows more than you, he’s been around the block a million times and he knows best what you should read.”
• “But how do I know that he picked that scripture? What if I picked it? Why would I pick this one?”
“Kid, you’re more trouble than you’re worth. I don’t give a damn why it’s this scripture and not another one. It’s the one in the script and it’s the one you’re going to read. I just don’t have time for your questions.”
• “But how am I supposed to say these lines? Surely it makes a difference how I say them. Do I love these people? Am I confident? Do I know exactly what I’m doing and saying, or am I uneasy about being home?”
“Give me that script.. OK, it says ‘the Spirit of the Lord is upon me.’ That sounds like a good thing to me. So why don’t you smile, you know, kind of like when you were little in church and your choir director said, ‘We’re singing about God, so let’s see a big smile.’”
• “But what if it’s actually a hard thing to have the Spirit of the Lord upon you?”
“I’m not done yet, son. Let’s see, ‘Because he has anointed me...’ So, you’ve been chosen to do this. That’s an honor. So smile. I always smile when I get those dippy awards from the Chamber of Commerce... ‘to preach good news...’ See, it’s good news. So, are you going to say good news with a frown on your face? You know the end of It’s a Wonderful Life when George Bailey discovers that his life really did amount to something and he has a big smile on his face? Do that smile.”
• “But this is the beginning of the ministry. How do I know it’s going to amount to something?”
“I don’t know how you know. All I know is that you better know in the next 5 minutes.”
• “But is it going to be good news to the people who hear it?”
“The people who hear it are being paid good money to hear it. Most of them think they’re the next Denzel Washington or Julia Roberts. We pay them to look interested, so they’ll look interested.”
• “No, I don’t mean the actors. I mean the people who heard it back then.”
“I don’t have time to wonder about fossils, kid. I don’t know what they thought and I don’t care what they thought. They sat there and listened. That’s what I know...What? Oh, Christ, Denzel and Julia want to be heard. Well, tell them to get up here, and somebody get me a decaf, low fat, three Equal, no foam latté...
“OK, Oscar nominees, what is the brilliant idea you have?”
**“Well, Mr. Director, we feel that since religious films can be kind of dull and slow moving and not very funny or upbeat, it might be fun to make a scene within this scene where Jesus’ old Sunday School teachers comment on what they’re hearing. You know, kind of like ‘Look what happened to our sweet little Jesus boy!’”
“I kind of like this idea.. Yeah, it has real promise. (to Jesus) See, this is what I’m talking about. It’s good news. The little old ladies say sweet things about their former student. Kind of like Driving Miss Daisy on Prozac. Show me a little of what you have in mind.”
**“Oh, yes sir, we’d love to. OK, here we go... (assuming the role) Oh, look Margaret, here comes our little Jesus. Isn’t he a handsome young man? Such good strong hands and that sweet expression on his face. I hear he’s going to be the preacher today. Isn’t that sweet? Just like the old days when he used to sit in our classroom and say all those adorable things about God. He always was a little beyond his age, wasn’t he? (back to the director) How’s that?”
• “This is crazy. Have you seen the script? Do you see what happens later on in the story?”
**“Yes, we saw it, but you know better than anyone that movies can take some liberty with the book. Don’t you think it would be kind of cute to have the two old ladies commenting on how nice it is to have Jesus back? You could even do some flashbacks, and show the young Jesus sitting at their feet with an adoring look on his face, and then show him playing with clay pigeons. You could even show him turning them into real ones. That would be a nice touch.”
“Just a minute, who’s in charge here? Look, I think Hepburn and Bette Davis have a good angle here. I think it could be a real tear jerker.. a real Hallmark moment.”
• “I just have to say that I can’t be a part of this. It’s like you’re unwilling to actually look at what the script says. This man isn’t asking the people to put their spare change in the Muscular Dystrophy coin box at 7-11. He’s saying that he’s the one the prophet was speaking about. He’s saying they won’t like what he has say.”
“Are you done? Look, kid, if you want a soap box, go work for Proctor and Gamble. All this character is doing is grandstanding a little in front of the home crowd. Now why don’t you just tone it down a little.. .. You wanna latté?”
• “Look, would you just let me say the lines in front of the extras? Would you just let me try one take in front of them to see how they react?”
“OK, have it your way.. You can try your Sidney Poitier imitation out on the crowd. Give ’em your best shot. The spot light is on you. Then we can get back to just getting this scene in the can and heading home for the day.
“All right, everyone, this is a take. Olivier here is going to try the script out on you, and you’re supposed to just go with him. OK, Barrymore. It’s all yours.”
• The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
• because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
• He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives
• and recovering of sight to the blind,
• to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
• to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.
[Crowd Response: All eyes were fixed upon him]
• Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.
[Crowd response: They spoke well of him and said, “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”]
• Doubtless you will quote to me this proverb, ‘Physician, heal yourself; what we have heard you did at Capernaum, do here also in your own country. Truly I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country. But in truth I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when there came a great famine over the land; and Elijah was sent to none of them but only to Zaraphath, in the land of Sidon, to a woman who was a leper. And there were many lepers in Israel in the time of the prophet Elisha; and none of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian.
[Crowd response: They were filled with wrath, and they rose up and put him out of the city.]
“CUT!!! Well, Bogart, are you happy now? We can’t do it that way. It doesn’t have a happy ending.”